Trusting

I was cleaning out and reorganizing a closet last weekend when I came across a note. Written by my seven-year-old daughter to her ten-year-old brother, it said,

“I’m sorry for not trusting you. – Karis

Below the note she had drawn in sign language and written, “I love you Micah.”

Though just a tattered piece of notebook paper with writing that didn’t follow the lines, its message packed a punch. And she had gone out of her way to convey the most important point not only in words, but in picture, too.

It got me thinking about trust, and specifically trusting the Lord. I confessed over thirty years ago that I trusted him with everything that I was and would ever be. Am I truly trusting him day-by-day, hour-by-hour and minute-by-minute?

I think of the times I fret about getting an article written or being prepared to give a new message at a women’s event. I think of the times I whine about a health issue or despair after reading the newspaper about how bad things are getting. I think about the times I worry about my children or try to micro-manage their lives in some way.

The fact is I’m not very good at trusting. Not really.

But I have a hunch from everything I’ve read in the Bible about the character of God that all He really wants to hear from me in those too-often sinful moments is this: “I’m sorry for not trusting you. –Brenna” Nothing fancy, and not neat, either, but it packs a punch. He understands my weaknesses, and reaches down with love and compassion to forgive, and give me the strength to try to get it right the next time.

In the meantime, I hope that I’m giving Him that second message not only by my spoken words but by the way I’m living my life: “I love you, Lord.”